Everything from advice to review columns!

Fear of Myths

For most of us, myths are fun ways to explain our existence, explain why things came to be, or to demonstrate our creative thinking. This is simply not the case for those with mythophobia…

Mythophobia is known as the fear of myths. However, it is also known as the fear of false statements. Most often, people have this fear because of two reasons. One may be their particular religious beliefs. Some people are afraid that the higher entities portrayed in mythology may be real. These higher powers may have complete control or be evil in mythology, and the person may feel that the entity could harm them in reality. The other reason may be that they were lied to, and are afraid of being lied to again. Those who have mythophobia may refuse to read certain fiction books or see theatrical plays that may contain aspects of mythology if they fear mythology, or may not believe anything that they hear if they are afraid of being lied to. (more…)

The Fear of Love

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, what will you do as the fear of love grows stronger?

Philophobia can be defined as the fear of love and has been described as one of the most “unusual fears” that people have. It is known to be more common in women than in men. Philophobia can lead to other fears, such as xenophobia, and can cause you to ostracize yourself from others, become more introverted, or become depressed. Often, it is triggered by the bitter memories of an earlier engagement or marriage. However, philophobia is triggered for different reasons. Some people are too ashamed of being rejected by their potential lover. Others have been divorced and do not want to feel heartbroken ever again. Others who grew up with parents in a “bad relationship” may fear getting into the same situation and may avoid love altogether.

When exposed to a loved one, common symptoms of philophobia include:

  • Being Constantly Uptight
  • Panic Attacks/Extreme Anxiety
  • Increased Heart Rate
  • Dizziness/Nausea
  • Shortness of Breath
  • An Intense Desire to Avoid Interactions with a (former) Loved One

Exposure to the lover whom you may fear can gradually help you to overcome your fears. Supportive friends, counseling, therapy, and even medication have been known to help reduce the effects of or completely get rid of the fear of love. There are also many anonymous forums and websites where others like you are struggling with their fears, and you can receive advice from others who know about philophobia and who can help.


5 Mini-Mario Theories

Welcome back to the theoretical corner of the newspaper, THE CONSPIRACY CORNER. Today I will tell you ten mini-theories about your favorite guy with a red hat… MARIO!

All the games are Princess Peach’s propaganda

What if all Princess Peach is trying to do is cause propaganda by making it seem as if Bowser is the villain, but in reality, Peach is the evil dictator. Peach also never increases the security in the mushroom kingdom. The games have never been from Bowser’s point of view but instead Mario’s. What if Peach is tricking Mario into her getting “kidnapped.” (more…)

Timmy Turner, Danny Phantom: SAME PERSON???

Welcome back to the theoretical part of TNT. How cool would it be if Timmy Turner grew up and became Danny Phantom? SUPER COOL!!! They both do look very much alike from the hairstyle, thick eyebrows, and blue eyes. Even both of their parents look and act similar. Do these Nickelodeon shows have a secret connection between Timmy Turner and Danny Phantom? Well, I will answer that question today. (more…)

Tuna Salad

Since it is time travel week, let’s throw back to the seventies when plastic character lunch boxes were huge. Yeah, lunch boxes with creepy My Little Ponies or Care Bears. Let’s explore one of the things that might have been in those lunch boxes: tuna salad. It’s been around since canned tuna was a thing. Did you know the first can of fish was created in 1795? Tuna salad can be a full meal, but if you want to make it more filling just add crackers. (more…)

The Science Behind Santa Claus

Merry Christmas everyone! Today I will be explaining Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, or Father Christmas. Let’s get started!!!

There is approximate 2 billion children under the age of 18 in the world. Religion narrows down 15% because the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist don’t celebrate Christmas. So that’s 378 million children. To confirm this, after watching The Santa Clause, on one line says Santa delivers to millions of children. According to the census, the average children per home is 3.5, so that’s 91.8 million houses. (more…)

Zuchinni Pasta

I found out there are a lot of vegetarians at our school! So, for two more issues, I’ll do vegetarian or universal recipes! This recipe can be vegetarian or meaty linguini! This is something my mom has made, not my favorite anymore because we eat it often. Frankly, I’d rather eat French fries (winks), but the healthier the butter, erm, I mean, better!   (more…)

Origin of Cerberus

You descended and boated through the river Styx where your judgment for the rest of your life awaits in the underworld. You dreadfully, sluggishly, and slowly walk with the crowd to decide to go the Fields of Asphodel, Elysium, or if you have truly done bad to the world, the Fields of Punishments. You hope for Elysium, or even the Fields of Asphodel when you see him. He towers over you, growling and snarling from three heads! You look up to the three heads, and you’re terrified, one wrong step and you have no chance. You recognize him, Cerberus. The guard of the Greek Underworld. How did he originate you ask? You didn’t ask? Well, here is the origin of this beast of a dog!


Theories and Tales: Mystery or Science? #3

*Disclaimer: Due to amount of super scariness and sarcasm reader may experience various side effects

Voting booths, elections, debates‒all entail a quadrennial ritual of American culture. The government has been subject of many conspiracy theories. The secretive nature of politicians and their habit to lie every other sentence give way to many ideas and theories of strange happenings within the “belly of the beast” (aka our government). Many people have theorized that the government has and is being run by lizards or lizard people. Whether this is true is not, is yet to be disclosed.   (more…)

Topics in Natural Science: Psychology

This time, because I have a very loose definition of what is “natural science”, I want to talk about a certain topic that I’m most interested in: psychology. Psychology is basically the study of how your brain is wired. I’ll be skimming the surface of psychology this issue, because the topic is very advanced and branches off in many different directions. We’ll focus on two facts that I have found to be most relatable at our crazy teenage years. (more…)

Theories and Tales: Mystery or Science? #2

*Disclaimer: Due to amount of super scariness and sarcasm readers may experience various side effects

Semi-lit roads with dead and crackling leaves underfoot. The noises of overjoyed children cut through the otherwise still night. Porch Lights attract bugs, and more pests (i. e. Small children). This can only mean: Halloween. Small children dressed as other-worldly beings and stereotypical princess’ and Batman run from house to house to beg for candy from strangers, though this goes against everything our parents told us (unless it’s from strangers in white vans, which is perfectly acceptable). How “TRICK OR TREAT!” became the traditional fall mantra, is a tale for another day. My tale for this week is: Mothman. (more…)

Random Answers to Random Questions to Random People #1

How would you spend one million dollars? 

    I would probably fund an action against potato abuse

Do you think penguins can fly but are just too lazy? Why or why not?

   Based on a penguin (looking at you, Sarcastic Penguin) I know I believe that they are just lazy creatures. Penguins are magnificent creatures that should be able to fly and it makes no sense for them to not have the ability to fly. (more…)

The Science Behind the Ouija Board

As many of you know, the spookiest board game is the Ouija board. Well, in my opinion the scariest board game is Jumanji but that’s in a whole different universe so yeah. That’s a theory for another issue. Anyways, if you don’t know what the Ouija Board is, it is a board with the alphabet, 0-9, yes, no, goodbye, and sometimes hello. (more…)

Theories and Tales: Mystery or Science? #1

*Disclaimer: Due to amount of super scariness and sarcasm readers may experience varying side effects

Welcome to this newfound column. In it I will attempt to explain strange conspiracy theories, and even some popular ghost tales. Suggestions are also welcome (so long as they are REASONABLE). If you want an explained story or theory, leave them in the comments. Enjoy, and at read at your own risk! (more…)

Origin of Unicorns

When you think of supernatural stuff you think of things like ghosts, werewolves, goblins, and zombies right? The normal run-of-the-mill, “scary” creatures that are featured in many creepy tales. Well, let’s expand our normal perimeters of supernatural and add unicorns to the list! That’s right, unicorns. You wouldn’t think those things would be supernatural, scary creatures seeing as they are often thought of as gentle, sweet friends of princesses, and plainly stated, not intimidating. Think again! Unicorns can be terrifying creatures with hooves of steel, and a sharp horn on their head.  They have unbending wills and a fierce temperament, you don’t want to cross them. You can’t even kill these creatures without being only half alive, as said in Harry Potter! Lets dive into the origin of these terrifying, supernatural beasts.


The Supernatural Bermuda Triangle

The Bermuda Triangle, also known as the Devil’s Triangle, has had scientists puzzled for ages. Planes, boats, and submarines go in, and somehow they don’t come back out. There has been no official explanation for why aircrafts and watercrafts mysteriously disappear.However, there have been many theories of paranormal, extraterrestrial, and scientific theories. (more…)

Organized Madness #2

Written: 9-29/16

To preface this, I will say it once again (as I did at some point in the last 12 lunar cycles) that I do not have a strange, unnatural inclination towards, nor fixation/obsession with, parentheses. I see you’re here again, reading this. Or maybe you’re new and don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. Both of which are good. In either case, welcome. Welcome to the zanier side of the newspaper, where the sarcasm flows like rivers. (more…)

Best Place to Survive – The Apocalypse Theory (7 Days to Dies)

Today I will be making a theory about 7 Days to Die. It’s not really a theory, more like the safest place on Earth to survive the apocalypse. Yes, you may have already seen this on Game Theory by MatPat but, the video is blocked. So today, I will be paraphrasing the video. I will still include the link to the video at the bottom to watch on your other devices. So let’s begin!   (more…)

Ask Athena #1

My boyfriend is an antisocial person but I’m not and sometimes it becomes a problem, I’m not sure what to do. He doesn’t really talk to me during school, but when we aren’t in school he’s completely different. How do I tell him that I want him to talk to me more? – _Help_


Dear, _Help_

Seeing as you’ve come to me, I’m guessing you’ve already brought this problem to your boyfriend. If not, this is the first thing you should do. It’s hard to solve a relationship problem if only one person in the relationship knows about it. If he only talks to you after school it might be that he’s uncomfortable talking to you about other people. This could be a fear of criticism or scrutiny. In other words might be afraid that your friends will pick him for talking with his relationship partner which sounds silly that it happens. When telling him you want him to be more social, ask him after school. Since based on what you’ve told me he’ll be more comfortable. Hopefully, he’ll confide in you and you both can talk it out and find a solution.


P.S. Keep in mind that the solution may not be something you completely agree with, but relationships are all about compromise.

Love, Athena


Weekly Horoscope! #1

Cancer (June 21 to July 22): You are extraordinary, someone very close to you will make a move, but don’t push it!

Leo (July 23 to Aug 22): You are fierce and courageous! When you help someone in a tight situation you will be rewarded greatly.

Virgo (Aug 23 to Sep 22): A large amount of money is coming your way, but don’t get greedy!

Libra (Sep 23 to Oct 23): Don’t get too cocky! This week you will have to be very outstanding to the people who matter most to you, or they might stab you in the back!

Scorpio (Oct 24 to Nov 22): You are strong both physically and emotionally! Don’t let anyone judge you… or else.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 to Dec 21): You may not be the strongest, but you have skills on your side. You will make something to be loved by many people, and fame will come your way.

Capricorn (Dec 22 to Jan 19): YOU ARE CRAZY! Everything that happens makes no sense to you, but all you need to worry about is having a good time!!!

Aquarius (Jan 20 to Feb 19): You are royalty! All the other zodiacs revolve around you! You are the most FANTABULOUS zodiac! Make the rest of them bow down to you.

Pisces (Feb 20 to March 20): You are the purest blood out of the zodiacs, you are caring and should not stop either! What comes around goes around!

Aries (March 21 to April 20):You will start to see a real positive change in a troubled relationship today  and it might be in a direction you weren’t expecting.

Taurus (April 21 to May 20): If you have been struggling with planning an event or party, it’s time to cut yourself some slack. Get a team of your favorite people together to help you out and things will start to feel fun again!

Gemini (May 21 to June 20): This week you will be reunited with your true love, this will be one of the happiest moments of your life.

Fruit Parfait!

What would a superhero be without their SUPERFOODS? You may be asking, “what the heck is a superfood?” Well, a superfood is a food, like watermelon or blueberries, that is PACKED with vitamins and nutrients. The weather is getting cooler and the days are getting shorter here at NEAAAT and sometimes breakfast isn’t easy. So! A quick and easy breakfast, that is made of multiple superfoods, is a yogurt parfait! Yogurt parfait is a fancy term for breakfast yogurt with toppings. (more…)