Cancer (June 21 to July 22): Are you feeling the Christamamasamas spirit?
Leo (July 23 to Aug 22): Give to those in need this time around, for the sake of your life…
Virgo (Aug 23 to Sept 22): Murry Christamamamamas – MURICA
Libra (Sep 23 to Oct 23): Make sure to tell your neighbor Happy Holidays!
Scorpio (Oct 24 to Nov 22): You’re getting the mother load of presents this year! Isn’t that what Christmasamasmas is all about?
Sagittarius (Nov 23 to Dec 21): Isn’t it creepy that an old fat man sees you while you’re sleeping? Just me?
Capricorn (Dec 22 to Jan 19): I SCREAM YOU SCREAM! WE ALL SCREAM FOR eggnog.
Aquarius (Jan 20 to Feb 19): We know you are better than everyone else, but don’t brag toooo much, kay?
Pisces (Feb 20 to March 20): That moment when all of the lights bust on the tree, it falls and all the ornaments break, we know that was you, Jimmy.
Aries (March 21 to April 19): Deck the halls with blood and murder… wait, this is a school newspaper? Oh uhhh… Deck the halls with… uh…. glitter.
Taurus (April 21 to May 20): When you try to give to the needy, but you are the needy.
Gemini (May 21 to June 20): Stop being a good person you aren’t. MURICA! Murry Christmasasamsas