To preface this, I shall say that the time is nearly upon us. I can see that you’re reading this again (I actually can’t, but the-lord-that-should-not-be can). And as such, I have concluded that you are here to read another piece of contemptible reporting and borderline cultist propaganda. So I stand here on my digital soapbox to regale you with the tales and adventures of our school. And so, I issue you a welcome to the zanier side of the newspaper. Where the sarcasm flows like rivers.
The first topic I’d like to describe to you on my current sarcastic, cynical and jaded tirade is revisiting that of our nomadic ways. We currently have found a home in the K.E. White center, but I assure you that there are things in motion to find us a home we deserve. A beacon of hope to the downtrodden, the gremlins, the pseudo-adults, the staff. All of us. Gone (hopefully) will be the days of thin hallways winding in a seemingly endless and endlessly confusing circle of mystery and mindlessness and insanity, with its dark corners and side-rooms that not even I can see into, even with the clairvoyance of the lord Cthulhu (blessed be thine name). Speaking of which, I heard Innsmouth, Massachusetts is lovely around this time of year. And there is definitely nothing going on there. At all. And there has never been anything strange going on there. Especially not around November or December of 1931.
The next thing I’d like to cover is the third and final installment of an ongoing series: “Election 3: Electric Boogaloo.” The votes were cast and whilst I was not allowed to participate (under threat of being sent a Shoggoth my way, which is not a particularly enticing idea) that doesn’t matter. The victorious candidates were chosen, and now they are (presumably) doing something. Maybe.
And the last thing I shall cover in this (admittedly) short tirade is the next installment in a spinoff of my only ongoing series, I present to you, “Something about Nerds.” This time, I am here to announce that the Quiz Bowl interest meeting is somewhere, at some time, in some dimension tomorrow.
And with this, I shall bid you lot of people that actually manage to read these articles ado. It is here that I place an ending upon this tirade, and with that, it is time for this terribly wonderful piece of organized madness that hath bled unto this paper (you’re reading it digitally and I wrote it digitally so it’s actually a screen) to end.