Sarcastic Advice IN SPACE

Sarcastic Advice

By: Sarcastic Penguin & Sarcastic Puffin

What do I do if I am allergic to other people’s stupidity?

  Some symptoms of being allergic to stupidity is breaking out in sarcasm.

I have an embarrassing secret. Should I keep it secret or spill the beans.

 Hold on let me get some popcorn… .

When the Aliens come down, how can I befriend one?

Ask nicely of course. They aren’t animals.

Can i time travel using only a shoe a paper clip and duct tape?

Okay, first you tape the paper clip to the heel of the shoe. Make sure the shoe has no laces in it, purely velcro. Then you wrap the rest of the shoe in the duct tape and realize you wasted your time. Of course, you can’t time travel with that stuff.

I’m in an online relationship and my parents won’t let me visit him X() !! He only lives on Mars! UGHHH

That seems like a very reasonable request. Don’t know why they won’t let you find a very expensive method to travel to Mars to come to the conclusion that there is no Wifi on Mars and you have wasted your time and money. Can’t understand why they won’t let you do that…

If you tased spiderman, would the sky turn purple

Well, not quite but if you electrocute superman the grass turns blue

What do I do if I find out my love interest is actually my sister because my father is the Dark Lord. -Luke

You apparently die alone after watching your father die while the person you have been traveling with steals your girl which is actually your sister.

If I were to say….I don’t know……. Eat a radioactive spider would I still get powers like Spiderman?

No. The spider will get the powers of a man and become a spider that works a nine to five job named Manspider.

During Star Wars 7, they have the battle on the new death star, which explodes, do you think (what’s his face) bad guy is still alive?

What’s his face?……. Yeah, I think he died…………

Can you explain theory? Ur probably gonna say no so I’m gonna say
EXPLAIN STRING THEORY

String theory is the theory that if you take a string and put it near a cat said cat will ALWAYS play with the string.

  

Why do people say that time travel isn’t real? I THINK I KNOW! BECAUSE THEY INVENTED A TIME MACHINE, WENT TO THE FUTURE, ACCIDENTALLY MESSED EVERYTHING UP BY CREATING A PARADOX AND DENYING THE EXISTENCE OF TIME TRAVEL MAKES THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES!!!

That’s a ridiculous idea! Okay, maybe not so ridiculous…. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OKAY?

Why is the moon round?

The moon is actually, secretly, square.

I have a friend and I just found out that he’s not human.

Trust me, that is a lot better.

None of my friends like the new Call of Duty game (Infinite Warfare) and they all think I’m dumb for liking it. What should I do?

Find new friends. Or play a game that isn’t horrible.

Buffalo?

Wings?

I need advice for how to finish all my work before Wednesday night.

You don’t need science for that, you need a miracle…

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *