Sarcastic Advice: Mystical Edition

Sarcastic Advice

How do I keep my magic a secret?
Puffin: Publicly use them.
Penguin: Use your magic to make them forget you have magic. If someone sees you use magic then, do the same thing. Repeat until no one knows.

Puffin: Skip. If it sees you skipping it will assume that you are also a unicorn. [duh]
Penguin: Start chasing it. It won’t see the plot twist coming and will be scared and run away.

if you’re a penguin than I must be a dragon?
Puffin: Who said I was a penguin?
Penguin: Who said I was a penguin? Oh yeah… right…

Is Dumbledore still alive?
Puffin: Yes. Of course. Still alive.I didn’t disguise myself as Snape and kill him. Nope. He is definitely
Alive. (I’m sorry Harry it was for the best)
Penguin: Nope he is not. What? I don’t care about spoilers! HALF BLOOD PRINCE HAS BEEN OUT FOR

How do I keep the magic alive in my life?
Puffin: Kill it! That will keep it alive for sure.
Penguin: Keep the magic dead in other people’s lives so there is more magic for your life.

When will NEAAAT get a king, queen and a pet griffon
Puffin: Well I guess it’s time to reveal myself. I Sir Puffin, the great, am your ruler. I know shocking, please hold the applause.
Penguin: Yes, hold the applause, because the Puffin is a fake! I am the true king of NEAAAT!

What happens if I glue bat wings to a lizard
Puffin: This:


Penguin: More like this:


Isn’t it hideous?

Do the artic animals have magic powers and/or abilities?
Puffin: Well I can fly, I don’t know about the other guy.
Penguin: I have the ability to be funny. OHHH ROASTED.

I am more asking a question: why did you choose sarcastic Penguin and Puffin and what is their story?
Puffin: Because the Sarcastic Penguin didn’t like my first choice.
Penguin: I choose penguin because penguins are a perfect mix of awesomeness and slight arrogance which perfectly describes me.

To Penguin: If you could fly like your little puffin child would you?
To Puffin: If you could take your Penguin dad’s job would you?
To Both: Can you read this? Pfunifs devesre mroe lvoe tahn Pnguenis.
Puffin: 1. Who said that useless bird was my dad? How could I be related to a bird who can’t fly? 2. Yes, I would take the job. As my motto clearly states “today the newspaper, tomorrow the world”® 3.Thank you for your agreeing with me.Why does everyone love a bird who can’t fly?Just because his kind can swim….has really cool yellow feathers. So? I can fly.
Penguin: To the first question: Oh gosh no. Then I would lose my amazing ability to swim underwater for a while. To the one addressed to the two of us: How about we are all equal like where puffins have fewer rights than penguins. Equality….

What’s your favorite mythical animal?
Penguin: I personally love the penguin because clearly, they are too great to be real.
Puffin: Well if you’re not real then I guess I will have no choice, but to take over.

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