Sarcastic Advice: The New Year (One Month In)

Sarcastic Advice: Welcome to 2017

Brought to you by your personal Sarcasm Provider

 

How should I spend the new year?

Probably not asking anonymous people posing as a penguin and a puffin for advice. Just saying.

Does anyone else hate it when people say “new year, new me” or is it just me?

I agree. Really, nothing has changed between December 31st and January 1st. Technically it isn’t a new you since the concept of time is just an illusion and any difference between years is all made up.

How to (not) get a boyfriend???

Be yourself. That seems to be working pretty well.

How can I stop procrastinating on my school work in 2017?

I have no idea. I’ll figure out the answer tomorrow.

Is the answer sarcastic?

GEE I WONDER? IS IT SARCASTIC? I REALLY CAN’T TELL.

how do i up when its down because the color is not the right number??

By turning left when it’s right because the number is the right color

Will 2017 be the year that world |) () /\/\ | |\| /-\ T | () |\| is /-\ ( |-| | [- \/ [- |)???

Hopefully, it will be the year where people write how they should,  |\| () T   |_  |  |<  [-   T |-| | S.

My life has turned for the worst. How do I fix it?

By retracing your steps and turning the other way

HOW DO YOU DAB???

 Like so

screenshot-2017-02-02-at-7-21-00-pm

WIll you shout out my name “Saige McDaniel”

 no

I need advice on how to become a better person.

Well, for starters don’t become a penguin/puffin and, give out Sarcastic advice.

How do I stop getting emails about needing Sarcastic Advice?

Stop needing advice

Who is the sarcastic penguin?

 Me

I need advice on how to become a better person.

Don’t become a worse person.

Any tips on actually fulfilling my new year’s resolution?.

What do I look like someone who gives advice?

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