*Disclaimer: Due to amount of super scariness and sarcasm reader may experience various side effects
Voting booths, elections, debates‒all entail a quadrennial ritual of American culture. The government has been subject of many conspiracy theories. The secretive nature of politicians and their habit to lie every other sentence give way to many ideas and theories of strange happenings within the “belly of the beast” (aka our government). Many people have theorized that the government has and is being run by lizards or lizard people. Whether this is true is not, is yet to be disclosed.
Imagine if you had a pet lizard. Lazy, but friendly and always willing to play with you as long as warmth is involved. Now imagine if your lizard was a half-human hybrid set on the idea of enslaving the human race!! Conspiracy theorist David Icke introduced the theory in 1998 with the release of his book The Biggest Secret (Much shade. Very mystery. Such secret.). It consisted of interviews of various British people insisting that Parliament was nothing other than human hating lizard hybrids. These “hybrids” are seemingly responsible for many traumatizing historical events such as the Holocaust, 9/11, the Oklahoma City bombings. They are also believed to have existed since ancient times, trying to enact the same evil plan they have yet to complete. The Lizards have also been blamed to have started the Freemasons and the esteemed Illuminati. If these government lizards actually exist, or are a figment of some crazy person’s imagination no one can confirm.